It can be intimidating to think about choosing a therapist. But there's a lot to be said for thinking about what you want, and seeing how close you can come to finding it.
I encourage people to take the first session not as a therapy session, but as a meeting to decide whether you want to work with this person.
It's a great idea to make inquiries of a few different therapists. If you talk to three people, one will be great (that makes things easy) or one will be terrible (and that makes you more confident about both of the other two).
People often feel that there is a 'right' way for them to present their story, and they struggle to figure that out. But almost always, there is no one 'right' way. Our stories, and our lives, are complicated, there's lots going on, and most things aren't caused by just one thing, but many different things interacting. You don't need to worry about confusing a therapist -- they will ask you questions, if they can't follow you. And it's part of their job to help you make sense of your story. They know they wouldn't be seeing you, if you had an easy, comfortable story. Most people don't have an easy, comfortable story.
Don't be afraid to ask questions -- this is your big opportunity to see if you can find someone that you feel comfortable with, someone that you can talk to. And someone who has stuff to say that you find helpful. The therapist won't always be able to answer your questions, but they should be straightforward in saying that they can't, and tell you why. For example, people often ask me how long it will take to deal with a particular problem, but because so much of that answer depends on how much work the client does between the sessions, I tell them that I can't really answer that question. Though I can say a fair bit about what might make that time longer or shorter. If a therapist makes you feel bad about asking a question, in most cases, the best idea is to run.
In this first session, take as many risks as you can. Remember: You never have to see me again, if you don't want to. If you don't say anything about (that thing that you are really ashamed of), you still won't know at the end of the session if I would be a good therapist for you to work with.
Also, don't worry if you don't have any questions. Sometimes it works best for us to just sit down and talk, and you see how you feel.
Investing a little more time and energy up front in choosing the right therapist can make a tremendous difference in the progress of your therapy, how quickly you move through, and even what you can achieve. Don't be afraid to let your gut contribute to the decision -- the person you feel most comfortable with will often be the best choice. And if you're still hesitating, try someone else. There are lots of good therapists out there.
I encourage people to take the first session not as a therapy session, but as a meeting to decide whether you want to work with this person.
It's a great idea to make inquiries of a few different therapists. If you talk to three people, one will be great (that makes things easy) or one will be terrible (and that makes you more confident about both of the other two).
People often feel that there is a 'right' way for them to present their story, and they struggle to figure that out. But almost always, there is no one 'right' way. Our stories, and our lives, are complicated, there's lots going on, and most things aren't caused by just one thing, but many different things interacting. You don't need to worry about confusing a therapist -- they will ask you questions, if they can't follow you. And it's part of their job to help you make sense of your story. They know they wouldn't be seeing you, if you had an easy, comfortable story. Most people don't have an easy, comfortable story.
Don't be afraid to ask questions -- this is your big opportunity to see if you can find someone that you feel comfortable with, someone that you can talk to. And someone who has stuff to say that you find helpful. The therapist won't always be able to answer your questions, but they should be straightforward in saying that they can't, and tell you why. For example, people often ask me how long it will take to deal with a particular problem, but because so much of that answer depends on how much work the client does between the sessions, I tell them that I can't really answer that question. Though I can say a fair bit about what might make that time longer or shorter. If a therapist makes you feel bad about asking a question, in most cases, the best idea is to run.
In this first session, take as many risks as you can. Remember: You never have to see me again, if you don't want to. If you don't say anything about (that thing that you are really ashamed of), you still won't know at the end of the session if I would be a good therapist for you to work with.
Also, don't worry if you don't have any questions. Sometimes it works best for us to just sit down and talk, and you see how you feel.
Investing a little more time and energy up front in choosing the right therapist can make a tremendous difference in the progress of your therapy, how quickly you move through, and even what you can achieve. Don't be afraid to let your gut contribute to the decision -- the person you feel most comfortable with will often be the best choice. And if you're still hesitating, try someone else. There are lots of good therapists out there.